eSpeak

Stuff Your Face: Get to work.

2007-11-25T20:22:00.000-08:00

So, a lot of things have happened in the month that I have neglected to update my never-viewed blog. I start to wonder why I even add anything here - it's only my ramblings. Why put them online? Wouldn't a short note saved on a computer (which I obviously have access to) work better?

No. No it would not.

So I had a happy turkey-day, although it was more of a wholesale slaughter of ham for me. I've always been a fan of pigs. This also explains the porkchops I had at Flemings, an upscale restaurant - they were delicious. Anyway, because of (or for some years, in spite of) the veritable flood of family I experienced, I had a great time. We also had celebrated my sister's birthday a few days earlier with some catered Mexican food, so on the whole, I feel thoroughly miserable as hell for eating more in a week than some African nations must consume in a month.

Aw well. Who cares about some distant group of people? The food is delicious.

Other more light-hearted news, I gave in to blatant consumerism and bought an Xbox 360, which cost slightly less in dollars than its name implies. Until you throw in some games, you know, so you can actually use the thing, or an extra controller, or Uncle Sam's take. But that's nonsense, I'm having fun now. Who cares how much money you must spend in order to stab some unsuspecting sap in the back?

That said, I also received some more serious news this Thanksgiving Break - evidently my brother is gay. I'm very proud to have a family that was so supportive of this that they bordered on the nonchalant - it was almost with a rude indifference that we declared, "Okay." But it's really not anything new to us - our grandfather was gay, as is one of our aunts. No big deal, I would say - for me, but for my brother, I can't really say how he feels about it all. I would be glad not to have a secret, but I would be fooling myself to say that discrimination isn't out there in our society.

Anyway, I'm supportive of him, I have no problem with it, I think it's actually cool because now I'll know who to ask about fashion advice. (Which would be horribly insensitive if it weren't so true - he has great style.)

All in all, an incredibly eventful and fun holiday. Back to the grind, because despite my subconscious wants me to think, I'm only writing this out because I would rather say all of this than actually get to work.

The Sky: What is lost.

2007-10-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

So here in Southern California, we've been dealing with wildfires all over the place. People have lost their homes, some have lost their lives, and we have all lost our sense of security. It wasn't just someone else that suffered a tragedy; it was someone we know. I know it sounds awful to say, but it is true that the closer a tragedy is to us, the more tragic it seems.

Really, why should the loss of a stranger's house be any more sad than the loss of a friend's house?

Perceptions of tragedy aside, the consequences of this natural disaster have been far-reaching. The first night, a cloud of what can be described as none other than doom spread across the sky. From the point when it could first be noticed to the point when it overcame us was approximately five minutes. It was bad enough for my friend and myself to run for cover and race to buy masks - it was quickly raining ash, and became dark. The air quality is still dangerous after five days.

And yet, I have never seen anything as beautiful, so serene, and so amazing as the sunsets produced by this disaster. It seems somehow appropriate that only something so powerful and devastating could produce something so beautiful - the moon framed behind clouds, glowing red; the sun setting, covering the entire horizon in red - it is truly, absolutely gorgeous.

I suppose that is an important part of life - no matter how bad things look, no matter how awful it can be, you can still always look somewhere and see beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? You decide what you see, you interperet it, you conceive beauty.

Being able to appreciate what you have helps you forget what is lost.

Spectating: Didn't even have to try.

2007-10-22T03:06:00.000-07:00

I watched the shooting stars on the morning of October 21. One good one every ten minutes, a beautiful sight to see in a matchingly beautiful night sky. Not nearly as beautiful as it should be.

Look up one night. If you are in a city, it might be difficult to see the stars. If you can see them, you may make out a few constellations. If you are lucky, you can get a beautiful view of hundreds of stars.

But for the love of god, look at the picture. Why can't we see this? The sky is something so beautiful, so delicate. If a God doesn't exist to make it, the sheer magnificence of it proves some purpose to life. I don't pretend to know which scenario is the more truthful, but the point remains: We all deserve to see this some time in our lives.

Try counting the stars in that picture. Try noticing how tiny we are. How far could you walk in 15 minutes? 15 hours? 15 days?

Imagine 15,000 years at the speed of light. That's how far away we are from things that can still be beautiful. What does that mean? Are we alone? Are we unique? Could someone be looking back at us?

The real answer is...

Who cares? It's beautiful now, and now is the only time we keep. Appreciate it. Don't ruin it.

Picture from http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0402/skymt_payne_big.jpg
Worth checking out: http://www.darksky.org/

Science is the imitation of natural ingenuity; Art is the imitation of natural beauty. Nature is the best scientist, the best artist, and it didn't even have to try.

Thinking: Such tiny, tiny things.

2007-10-22T02:43:00.000-07:00

The other day I saw two men in a public place. One of them was standing on a small step-stool talking to a crowd, and the other was holding a sign that declared:

SATAN'S
CHILDREN
Hypocrite Christians, Hebrews,
Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus,
Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses,
and all other False Religions.

Sodomites, Pornographers,
Pedophiles, Fornicators, Cross-
dressers, Lesbians, Adulterers,
Transvestites, and all
other weirdo Sex perverts.

Scoffers, The Prideful, Atheists,
Agnostics, Idolaters and all
other Clueless Fools.

Murders/Babykillers,Liars,
Thieves, Corrupt Politicians,
and Covetous Moneygrubbers.

Boozers, Dopers, Revelers,
Mouthy Women, Girlie-men
& all Sin loving Heathen.
REPENT OR HELL

This was in a public place that literally thousands of people (all college students) would pass daily. These men stayed there for several hours, and I had the pleasure of talking to the one entertaining the crowd.

My friend was convinced this was satirical; I had the feeling it wasn't. Several questions to this man later, we had the answer: a simple bigot. I've heard a quote: "Doubts are such tiny things. Those who have no room for them must have no room for thoughts, either."

The questions I asked him concerned some of his recent topics, one of which was homosexuality. He proclaimed that all homosexuals had chosen to sin and thus should be condemned to hell; after all, one of his friends had been "cured" of homosexuality. Of this I asked him, "Is God all powerful? Is God then able to forgive all? Why doesn't He? He must be a malevolent god, Who is able to forgive but not willing."

He also talked of the traditional place of women in society. Of this I asked him, "From where do you get your quotes? Which edition of the Bible? How can you trust a translation when you know not the translator? How can you follow a text word by word, not even speaking the original language?"

He talked of other religions. He knew that Jesus was the only Son of God, of the only God, of an all-powerful God. This meant that Hindus, Jews, Muslims, and Everyone Else was wrong. Of this I asked him, "How can you use one religion to proclaim another wrong? How can you accept one on faith, and use faith to disprove faith? How can you use one holy book to destroy another? Why would you use faith to instill disbelief?"

He talked nothing of answers, only of beliefs, of what he knew, of what was wrong and right. He was so sure, so very sure of what he had Faith in. The same Faith that I have in people, in things, in friends, in family, in life... That same Faith he had in hate.

And what made it all the more sad was that he was ignorant of this. He knew that he loved Jesus with all his heart, he knew that the Lord loved him. He knew everything and nothing at all.

White and black, none other. No room for gray, no room for doubts.

No time to read his Book for the forest within. It is much quicker to see each tree, to follow each branch, examine each leaf.

Before this man knew how to be a real Christian he knew how to see everything else as false, and a faith built on falsehoods could be none other than false itself.

Doubts. Such tiny, tiny things.

The Day After: A Goal of Mine

2007-10-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

This isn't the first blog I've had. I tried once before on this website, and I had everything down. It was pirate themed, the posts would be the story of a confused yet humorous failure of a captain, the backgrounds were shamelessly taken from websites, and the HTML was butchered.

Subject, author, plot, horrible coding - the hallmark of a ready blog. And it came together like that one damned puzzle you spent so much time on only to realize that one puzzle piece was missing: effort.

Aw well. It went the way of my webcomic.

But now I'm more bored. Or more motivated. Or something. So hello!

What I plan on doing with this blog: Writing my thoughts and ramblings every so often. Nothing special, nothing planned. Hopefully I can be witty and at least entertain my readers, which should be pretty easy because I'll be the only person reading this.

See? I'm cracking up right now! Jesus, what the world is missing. Self-entertaining.

This is not a journal. This is not a diary. It's more like a mind dump: most of what I spew will be trash, but occasionally there will be a thought or two to recycle.

And of course, I will use this blog for global domination. It's just a personal goal of mine.

My 18th Birthday: Time well spent.

2007-10-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

So today was my 18th birthday. I don't feel any different. Just another day older, but it is nonetheless an important day.

I can smoke. I can join the military (or be drafted). I can gamble. I can do many things that I wouldn't do regardless. But I can vote. I am accountable for me, an oddly horrifying and comforting fact. Today, I am an adult.

So I wasted my time with my friends playing games, buying condoms and inflatable sex dolls, and playing with said condoms.

Actually, I think that acting upon your current desires (while considering morals/ethics) is a good way to spend your time. Live for everything, regret nothing.

Today, time was well spent.